Fading Faster Than The Speed Of Light
by adii1201
Summary: Lynette finds out about Tom and Renee but she has a secret of her own...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Desperate Housewives. Really, I don't.

**Plot:** Lynette finds out about Renee and Tom sleeping together 20 years ago. This is based on the new information from the latest sneak peek for the next episode of Desperate Housewives, but it will take a completely different turn as I go on with this.

**A/N**: I would like to know what you think of this, so please take a few moments to write down your thoughts on this! Thanks!

-Adi.

_Fading Faster Than The Speed Of Light_

_Chapter 1: Unsaid_

Their ride home was awfully quiet. Lynette kept looking out the window and tried her best not to cry. Not now, not in front of Renee. She hurt her so much but Lynette refused to let her see her break.

Renee looked at Lynette from time to time, hoping to make some kind of eye contact with Lynette but failing. She felt so bad about what happened and she desperately wanted to make it up to Lynette. But clearly, Lynette was far from interested.

When they finally arrived, Lynette got out of the car and ran straight to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She walked to the bathroom there and leaned against the sink, letting herself break. She began sobbing, this pain in her heart aching so badly. She heard the door open and then closed and she knew Tom followed her upstairs.

He walked inside and rested his hand on her back. _"Hey baby, what's wrong?"_

"_Don't. Don't touch me"_ she said.

He scanned her and the moment she finally turned to face him, he knew. He had been dreading this ever since it all happened. Knowing her, he knew exactly how she'd react to this.

"_Renee told you, hasn't she?" _he asked.

"_And I guess you just pushed her right into doing this"_she answered with that all too familiar bitter sarcasm.

"_I didn't want you to know because I knew exactly how you'd react."_

"_Wow. Congratulations. You know me. But I guess you don't know me well enough, cause then you would've known better than to do this."_

"_We broke up and we just had that fight…"_

"_So? What, were you trying to hurt me? To get back at me for the fight? I spent that entire weekend at my mom's house crying my eyes out because I thought I lost you!"_

"_No! I wasn't trying to hurt you! I was only drowning my feelings in booze. After I drank practically everything in that bar I got back to my room. Renee was there, she just got out of the shower. They gave us the same room by mistake."_

He stopped for a minute and hoped she would say something but she didn't. She stared at him, blank, eyes red from crying.

"_Look, I can tell you Renee seduced me but it's a lie. I can tell you I was way too drunk to even know what I was doing, but I should've known better. And you know, maybe I was trying to get back at you because you hurt me and it took me about 3 or 4 years later to finally understand the whole thing with your mom that started this fight. But I'm not trying to make excuses. It was wrong. I woke up the next morning and Renee was in bed next to me sleeping and I felt nausea. I got up, got dressed and was about to leave when she woke up and asked where am I going. I told her that you are the only woman I want to wake up next to."_

"_So, when you came back home with flowers and apologized for everything, you didn't even mean the fight, you were sorry about the weekend with Renee."_

"_Yes."_ He answered, avoiding her eyes.

There was a moment of silence between them. He knew she's not kicking him out because he didn't cheat. He was a jerk and he hurt her and it's exactly why he never wanted her to find out about that.

She knew he's sorry. He was nothing but perfect ever since, but it was still wrong and it still hurt her like it just happened.

"_What do you want me to do?"_ Tom finally asked.

"_Nothing. I'll be sleeping on the couch."_

"_No. This is my fault. I'll take the couch."_

Lynette nodded and began to walk away when he grabbed her arm _"But Lynette… We are going to fix this. I'm not giving up"_.

She stared at the floor and said nothing. He was probably right, she'll end up forgiving him, but right now she couldn't even look at him.

Tom left the room and she crawled into their bed. She picked up the phone and called Gabby. The minute she answered, Lynette began crying again. She knew something else, something she didn't get the chance to tell Tom yet and with everything that happened, she wasn't sure she wants to tell him.

"_Lynnie honey what happened?" _Gabby asked with concern.

"_Can you come with me tomorrow, please?"_ Lynette sobbed.

"_Of course! But, haven't you told him yet? Lynnie, we talked about this…"_

"_I know, I know. But I found out he slept with Renee back when we were dating. It's this huge kick to the stomach and I'm just so angry at him right now, I can't tell him. And I'm not sure I want to…"_

"_Sweetie you have to. If you want to let things cool for a while it's ok, but tell him…"_

Lynette said nothing. She had to think it through. This was the last thing she needed right now, more problems.

"_So I'll pick you up at 9 tomorrow?"_ Gabby asked as she figured Lynette doesn't want to talk about this.

"_Yes. Thanks a lot Gabby" _Lynette whispered into the phone.

"_You have nothing to thank me for. Now go get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow"_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** nope, you guessed right, nothing's changed from last chapter; I still don't own _Desperate Housewives_.

**A/N:** Wow. Reading your reviews just reminded me how much I enjoy writing. Thank you so much for all the kind words you said and for taking a moment to share your thoughts, it means a lot!

This is totally just a shot in the dark. I'm not sure it's was you all wanted, but I truly hope you'll like it anyway. And I really hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this. So, please, comment and let me know what you think, I would really appreciate it!

-Adi.

_Chapter 2: So Far Apart_

_All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight  
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right  
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long  
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong_

Tom woke up before her. He went into their bedroom to get some clothes and he saw her lying at his side of the bed, covered by his sweatshirt. He wanted to smile, to let this warming thought that she still loves him cover him up. But he didn't. He didn't because he knew she was sleeping alone because of him, and she was missing him but she was missing the guy she thought he was, not the guy he turned out to be.

[…]

She shut her eyes. _"Breathe" _she kept repeating in her head. She couldn't even hear the nurse telling her to relax, or that they were almost over. And she knew it probably didn't take so long as she thought it did. But it hurt like hell and Tom wasn't there. Gabby was holding her hand but it's not the same. She needed to hear his comforting voice whispering soft words in her ear, calming her down. She needed to feel his fingers run up and down her cheek, making her relax. She needed him, now more than ever.

It was over. She felt the needle leaving her body and the tension slowly wearing off. She slowly opened her eyes as she heard the doctor saying they finished.

Gabby smiled at her, still holding on to her hand _"That's it Lynnie. You did it, it's over"_.

Lynette smiled, still in pain to even talk. And yes, this was over. But now it's time to wait. 3 weeks. 3 long weeks until she'll finally get the results back. Not that she needed them, she knew exactly what was going on already. _"Just to be sure"_ her doctor told her. She smiled bitterly as she remembered his words. She was sure, and so was he. He was doing it just for the record.

"_Gabby, take me home please"_ Lynette said as she slowly got up from the bed. She couldn't stand being in the hospital, in that room, for one more second.

Gabby nodded and helped Lynette get dressed. She picked up all the information pages Lynette left behind. She wanted to ask if Lynette needed them but it was no use. She knew the answer. So she found the nearest trash and just threw them away. It doesn't really matter what they say, at the end all that matters is the fact itself. She was ill. Again. And no flier was going to help either of them deal with this. True, unlike Lynette, Gabby still tried to keep an open mind regarding the results of the biopsy. But she knew fairly well that there was a reason Lynette was so sure about them before even taking the test.

They drove home and talked about everything but Tom and the cancer. Those were the two subjects Gabby was too afraid to bring up and she knew perfectly well Lynette would just go around them and change the subject. She didn't want to talk and Gabby didn't want to push her.

Lynette opened the door to find Tom in the kitchen reading his newspaper. _'He's home early'_ she thought.

_"Hi"_ he called.

_"Hi"_ she said and smiled weakly. And then she stood there, not quite knowing what to do next. She felt like a stranger in her own house, like she's invading his privacy. And it made her angry, because after all she wasn't the one who did something wrong, he was.

_"Hey, you ok? You look a little pale"_ Tom said.

She must have been completely lost in her thoughts cause she just didn't notice that he was now standing right next to her. _"Yeah, I'm ok, I guess." _

Tom turned his look away from her. This was a stupid question, of course she wasn't ok. She was hurt and mad and he knew nothing changed from last night or from this morning. And it's true that last night he said to her that he was going to fix this. That they were going to fix this. But he also knew that it would probably take him a whole life to fix the damage he caused her with this. And he was willing to do it, if she'd only let him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** True, it's been a while since I posted a new chapter for this fic, but honest to god I still don't own _Desperate Housewives._

**A/N**: Thanks again for all the reviews. I hope you'll like this chapter too and please let me know what you think!

-Adi.

_Chapter 3: Heaven And Hell_

_Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free?  
The birth of a song, the death of a dream  
Closer to the edge_

Lynette sat up in bed and her hand was slowly rubbing the skin of her neck. There was nothing there but a little bandage, but for some reason she could still feel the pressure of the needle. After a few moments of thinking she finally picked up the phone.

"_Hey mom"._

"_Lynette? What's up?"_

Lynette took a deep breath. The last thing she wanted to do was to ask for help from her mom. But she had no other choice. _"Can you please come over?" _

"_Why? What's wrong?" _Stella asked.

"_My… Umm… Tom and I are… Please?"_ Lynette mumbled.

"_I'll come but tell me what's going on"_

"_Cancer. Tom slept with Renee 20 years ago."_

"_I'm packing my things and I'll take the first bus tomorrow morning."_

"_Thanks mom" _Lynette sighed and hung up the phone. At least her mom was coming. And true, it wasn't a very big consolation but they have been getting quite well in the past few years, so it was better than nothing.

She walked downstairs and found Tom sitting and staring. It took him a few moments to notice she's there and Lynette couldn't help but think if he was day dreaming about her.

"_My mom's coming"_ she shot out.

"_Why?" _Tom asked as his expression changed.

"_I asked her. I need her help"_

"_With what? I'm right here!" _he raised his voice a little, and he wasn't even sure why. He was getting upset over something that was basically nothing. But knowing Lynette, he wasn't so sure there wasn't something behind this whole thing. _"When is she coming?" _he asked as he figured he wasn't going to get any straight answer anyway.

"_Tomorrow. And before you ask, I don't know how long she'll stay"_.

"_Ok"_.

[…]

It was early. It was really early but Gabby couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Lynette and everything she was going through. She couldn't stop raging about how stupid Tom was and how Renee lacked some of the most basic human qualities.

She knew Lynette would probably kill her if she'd ever find out, but Gabby didn't mind. She got out of bed and walked over to Renee's house. She really didn't care that it was 6 AM and that Renee was probably sound asleep.

"_Renee! Open up!"_ Gabby yelled as she knocked on the door.

It was a long 10 minutes before Renee finally opened the door. She basically rolled out of bed and judging from the look on her face, she was furious. _"Is there a fire?" _she asked.

"_No"_ Gabby answered.

"_Did somebody die?"_

"_No"._

"_Then why the hell are you here at this hour? Not all of us have little monsters at home that wake us up!" _Renee scolded.

"_Because you slept with Tom" _Gabby yelled.

"_Ugh, that. That happened 20 years ago, What do you want me to do about that now?"_

"_Lynette has cancer"._

"_What?" _

"_She's sick. And thanks to you, she's not talking to Tom. Tom! The one person who can actually help her get through this. So I'm here at 6 AM to tell you that you were never a good friend to Lynette and maybe, just maybe, you can start being one now." _

[…]

"_Are you kicking me out?"_

He was leaning against the linter and Lynette was too busy to notice him. Jumping, she turned around to face him. _"No. If I wanted to kick you out I would've done it by now"._

"_Then why do you need your mom to come here Lynette?"_

"_Not everything is about you, Tom"._

"_Then what is it? The last time you let your mom stay with us was when you…" _He stopped and he really wanted to erase that thought out of his head. But he couldn't.

"_I don't have cancer. She's coming because I want her here. There's nothing more to it"_. Lynette fired before he had the chance to ask her.

"_Lynette…"_

"_Tom, seriously. I'm fine. I'm just trying to deal with the fact that my husband slept with my best friend. So I need my mom to come here and help me. Is that ok with you?"_

"_I guess" _Tom sighed and left the room.

She let out a shaky breath and sunk onto the bed. There was not a chance she was telling him about her illness now. She wasn't ready to fall back into his arms, no matter how much she needed to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I know I haven't updated this in forever, but _Desperate Housewives_ just isn't mine.

**A/N**: I know, I suck. I haven't updated this in sooo long and I'm sorry. I was busy, then I went away, then I was busy again and then I was stuck. And I finally got to this. I don't know if it was worth the waiting, but I certainly hope so. This chapter is rated M so please, if you don't like these things, skip

Please, take a moment to write down your thoughts on this one, I really want to know.

-Adi.

_Chapter 4: A Memory That Now Feels Untrue_

_Life doesn't promise a bed or roses or white knights_

_Fields of emotions I'm trapped in darkness _

_Why me?_

_Save me_

Tom opened the bathroom door as if it was something he was doing every single day. But it was. Yet he closed it so quickly when he realized Lynette was standing naked in front of him.

"_Sorry"_ he called.

She walked to the door, her towel already wrapping her body, and opened it. _"It's ok, you can come in"_.

Tom nodded _"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking"_.

"_Tom, you've seen me naked more times than I can count". _Lynette mentioned as she stood in front of the mirror above the sink.

Tom was standing behind her, but she couldn't see his reflection. He was staring at her, she could feel it. She didn't say a word, she just kept brushing her hair, and then she left the room. Tom stood still for a second, trying but failing to convince himself that chasing her was a bad idea. But as always, his mind lost the battle and he practically ran out of the room into their bedroom and grabbed her arm. She gasped. He hurt her, he didn't mean to. But then she was in his arms, her body pressed tight against his, his fingers slowly moving on her face, tugging a stray hair behind her ear. And she closed her eyes, falling to his touch. She hated this. And just as she thought she should say something to stop this, before she'd get too lost in him, his lips were on hers, his tongue finding hers and he kissed her like he was on the verge of exploding, like he hasn't touched her in so long that it literally killed him. But that's exactly how he was feeling.

He moved to kiss her jaw line, and then her earlobe and then softly he kissed her neck. _"Tom, I… I don't think it's a good idea"_ she whispered, but he was already so lost in the way her skin felt, in the smell of her shampoo. He kissed her lips again, slow, so slow she thought she would break. This wasn't just passion. This was love, and he missed her. And she missed him too. So much.

He slowly removed her towel and then pushed her to the bed. His lips were dancing over her neck and down to her chest. He grabbed her breast and took her nipple in his mouth, his tongue drawing lazy circles around it. She moaned. His other hand was running all over her when he finally touched her tight, urging her to open her legs. And then he pushed a finger into her, pressing up inside of her, and began to move in and out. This was her spot, the one only Tom found so long ago. He was showing her just how well he knew her. His lips were on hers again and then he just looked into her eyes, silent screams leaving her mouth as he kept on moving. And then seconds later she quivered, moaning loudly as her orgasm ran through her, tightening around his finger. Tom moved away from her, and she sat up.

"_Shit" _she said and ran a hand through her hair. Her legs were still trembling, her head still spinning. And then Tom was standing in front of her, and he finally got rid of his clothes. He was running his hand over his dick, but he was already beyond turned on. She lied back and he pulled her to the edge of the bed. She wrapped her legs around him, her heels settled on his ass. He grabbed his dick and slowly moved it over her clit, down to her opening, and then back up. It was frustrating. She wanted more. She needed more. But she didn't need to say another word. He pushed into her and she threw her head back, gasping loudly. She was so full and he was in so deep she had to catch her breath. So he waited, not moving, just lightly kissing her cheeks and her nose and her lips. And then her legs tightened around him and he began to move and it was what he needed. She didn't realize just how much she needed this too. _"Fuck. Oh fuck"_ he moaned. He was so close, and he wanted her to be too, but there was no way he could hold out any longer. And then he gushed inside of her, hot and thick, and she whimpered. She wanted to cum again, she was so fucking close, he had to get her there. She moved her hand down to her clit and began rubbing herself fast. And he used what was left of his erection to keep pounding into her, long and deep. _"Oh god! Fuck it feels so good!"_ Lynette screamed and then she shivered again, closing around him even tighter than before.

And as though it was over, they were both still high, still on the ecstasy of their love making. Still feeling like everything around them is moving.

He took her in his arms and she rested her head on his chest, calming down just by listening to the rise and fall of his breath. _"I love you"_ he whispered in her ear. And then a thought flashed through her mind and she couldn't swallow the lump in her throat. He felt her tears sliding down his chest and looked down at her, worried. He honestly thought that after this everything was ok again. _"What? Lynnie, what is it?" _he asked.

"_When you slept with her, did you also hold her close and whisper sweet words in her ear?"_ Lynette asked and then ran to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

"_No."_ Tom whispered but she wasn't there anymore to hear him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Desperate Housewives. If I would, trust me, you'd know.

**A/N:** So this is the last chapter for this fic. Thank you everyone who read it and took a moment to comment.

I would love to know what you think about this one too.

-Adi.

_Chapter 5: Tired_

_Every now and then my memories ache  
With the empty ideas of the ones we'd made  
But as time goes on and my age gets older  
I love the ones I know, they're enough to picture the rain_

"_Tom?"_ Renee knocked on the door at his office.

He looked up _"What are you doing here?"_

"_I need to talk to you"_

"_Renee, I think you've said enough already."_

"_Tom… She needs you"_

"_She's not talking to me!"_

"_I know, but you have to find a way. She's sick"_

Tom dropped the papers he was holding and stood up. _"What?"_ he managed to ask.

[…]

"_Hi"_ he said as he walked into their house. It was quiet and most of the lights were out.

"_Hey. Dinner's in the oven."_

"_Ok, thanks"_Tom smiled.

"_Listen, my mom arrived and she's sleeping on the couch so…"_

"_You want me to find the old mattress we keep in the basement?"_

"_No, no. It's ok. I'm… I'm going to sleep, I'm really tired."_

Tom nodded. _"Good night"_ he said.

She went upstairs and crawled into bed. The last thing she wanted was to spend a night with Tom next to her. But then again, it was one of the things she wanted the most, but she would never say that out loud. She wondered if her mother had insisted on sleeping on the couch because she knew Tom would have no other choice but to sleep with Lynette.

She closed her eyes and soon came her dreams. Dreams of some place nice and quiet, of a place with no hurt and no diseases. Yet in all those dreams she was bald and pale. And alone.

She was crying in her sleep when Tom entered their bed. He lied on his back, staring at the ceiling. He kept thinking this was his chance- she was right there next to him and she was crying. He had to pull her in, take her into his arms, calm her slowly and ask her about the cancer. But he was so afraid she'd shut him out, that he'd cause more damage than he already have. He needed to know how she was, he needed to be there for her.

He turned to his side and slowly sneaked his hand around her waist and pulled her closer. He smelled her hair, god how he loved her scent, and then he softly kissed her neck and whispered her name. She finally woke up, taking a few seconds to understand what was going on. She turned around in his arms, lying on her back, and stared at him. She felt her eyes wet from the tears but she didn't wipe them away. Being so close to him, he probably read her already that there was really no use in hiding the fact that she was so broken, so hurt.

He looked at her with this loving and caring look she thought could actually kill her. No one has ever been so soft and gentle with her before. He pressed his forehead against hers and they both closed their eyes. He knew, she had no doubt about that. The way he was acting, the fear in every movement he made, she's been there before.

"_How bad is it?"_ he finally whispered.

"_I… I don't know yet. I'm waiting for the test results"_

He opened his eyes and went back a little. _"So you might not be sick?"_he said and she could see the glimpse of hope that flashed through his eyes. It disappeared just as fast when she slowly shook her head, looking down to avoid his eyes.

He sighed. _"Lynette… I never held another woman in my arms the way I hold you. I never whispered 'I love you' to anyone before. The night with Renee was nothing like the nights you and I spend together. I was drunk and I couldn't care less about anything. It was stupid and I didn't enjoy it. When we were done I went to take a shower and we spent the night sleeping back to back. It was meaningless, really. And I know it hurt you, and I hurt you, and I'll do whatever you want me to, but you have to let me help you with this."_

"_Tom, that means…"_

"_I know what it means. It means you have to take your guard down. It means you have to admit that you need someone, and that would make you look fragile. Lynette, I know you. I know you think I don't, but you can't hide from me and you can't fake with me. I know, I always know. So yes, I know what it means. And I know how hard it is for you, but I also know that you can't do it alone. No, I won't let you do it alone."_

She closed her eyes and tears slid down her cheeks. She wanted him to be wrong. She cursed herself for ever letting him in so close that she had nothing left to protect her from him. She hated herself for being so dependent on someone else when she vowed a long time ago to never let that happen.

He wiped her tears and the kissed her. And then she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer and closer to her. She knew she lost this battle, but for once in her life she thought that maybe it's not so bad. He made one mistake before they began their life together. One mistake, over a lifetime of saving her from everything but mostly from herself.

The rest of the night was a blur, because finally he was there with her.

They fell apart, but got back up again.

_-Fin-_


End file.
